What century are we living in again?

Today's Carolyn Hax column quite frankly made me want to vomit. It is not her advice that I object to--in fact I think she answered the question correctly for once. It's the fact that the question was asked at all that makes me want to scream.

The topic is the "tradition" of asking a woman's father for permission to marry her. Don't get me wrong--I love my Dad, and I respect his opinion a great deal. But if any man is ever stupid enough to ask his permission to propose to me, my answer will be no. I have no idea what Dad would say in such a situation--my guess is that he would be fairly bewildered at being asked. I would hope he would be fairly bewildered at being asked, because both of my parents raised me to be an independent woman. And while I do seek their counsel on many occasions, in the end my life is my decision.

I don't take offense easily. People don't always have to be politically correct around me. But the fact that this does still happen does offend me, and the fact that some women like and expect this tradition makes me sad.

In closing, I will leave you with one of the most awesome exchanges on TV ever, from the very first episode of Alias:

Danny: I'm calling because I'm planning on asking Sydney to marry me and... I was hoping to get your approval.
Jack: Danny, let me ask you a question.
Danny: Sure.
Jack: How well do you know my daughter?
Danny: Um, we've been dating for two years...
Jack: Because if you feel the need to ask me about this scenario, I have a sense you don't know Sydney at all.
Danny: Sir, I love your daughter and I want to marry her. That's why I'm calling.
Jack: First of all, Danny, the truth is this is just a courtesy call. Like when you say to your neighbor, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night if that's all right with you." What you really mean is, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night."
Danny: Mr. Bristow...
Jack: Sydney doesn't give a damn what my opinion is. What interests me is that you do.
Danny: It's just a custom to call the father, that's all this is...
Jack: Well, then, I'll tell you what. I may become your father-in-law, that's just fine. But I will not be used as part of a charming little anecdote you tell your friends at cocktail parties so they can see what a quaint, old-fashioned guy Danny really is. Are we clear?
Danny: Yes, sir...
Jack: Good. Then welcome to the family.

Reading Recommendation

I had a huge crush on Wil Wheaton when I was a kid. I was addicted to Star Trek, and Wesley Crusher was the character I could relate to. Sure, 98% of Star Trek fans wanted him dead, but he was my age(ish) and he was kinda cute.

Flash forward a few years. Now older and wiser, I understand why most Star Trek fans hated Wesley. He was freaking annoying, and he often served as an incredibly obvious deus ex machina. Frankly, while Star Trek was (mostly) reasonably well written, you could tell that a bunch of middle-aged men (and women) were sitting around in a room trying to write a teenage character, and failing miserably.

However, it turns out that Wil Wheaton is still pretty freaking cool. I happened upon his blog a few years ago, and I'm quite impressed. He's a great writer, and he seems to be remarkably well adjusted for someone who spent his formative years on the Starship Enterprise. And of course, he writes things like this. It's that particular post that prompted me to post this blog. It captures my thoughts on the matter pretty exactly. In fact, I find myself agreeing with him fairly often. I highly recommend reading his blog.

Navigation

I hate driving in Baltimore. As much as I love the city itself, driving there stresses me out.

Take last night, for example. My directions for getting to the Ottobar were simple. Get on Howard Street. Stay on Howard Street. Park. And since Howard Street is one of the few streets in Baltimore I can find without trouble, it should be a piece of cake, right? Well, sort of.

I didn't get lost. I'll give it that much. But I had forgotten (or more likely, blocked it out to preserve my sanity) that cars share Howard Street with the lightrail. I hate sharing the street with the fucking lightrail. On the one hand, I'm sure that the city's transportation department has all of the lights correctly timed and that it's perfectly safe. On the other hand, this is the same transportation department that's had a sign that says "Stairs to Charlers St." at the Charles Center Metro station for the past ten years, so maybe I'm right to be apprehensive.

Whatever. I made it to the Ottobar on time, the show was great, and I made it home with a minimum of difficulty--though I should note that Howard Street also becomes one way halfway down, which made my exit a bit more difficult, but I survived. Give me DC driving any day.

Things I have encountered this week that I would like to share. (Part II)

MI-5, aka Spooks
I love Netflix. It lets me get addicted to awesome shows that I never would have seen, and I don't have to pay for cable. This show popped up as a recommendation at some point, and I added it on a whim. Now I'm addicted. Matthew McFayden is hot. And so is his accent. And you have to love a show where you know from the very beginning that anyone can die or otherwise be removed. The last five minutes of the second episode of the first season was like a punch in the gut.

The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things, by Carolyn Mackler
Read this book. No, seriously. I don't care if the last young adult book you read was a Baby-Sitters Club book. Read this book, and marvel at the blunt honesty. See also, Tangerine, by Edward Bloor.

107 in 2007

I started this ritual in 2004--rather than making New Year's resolutions, I make a list of things to do in the coming year. That way, it's less of an ongoing thing and more something I can stretch out over the full year. In 2004, it was 104 things. In 2005, 105. And so on.

This year, I mentioned my list at a New Year's Eve party, and many people expressed interest in it; therefore I decided to post it here. I don't really intend to keep a running tally of completed items on my blog; I do this in my paper journal, but I may post a round-up at the end of the year.

That is, if we haven't all moved on to the next big thing. I mean, really. MySpace is so 2006. (Kidding.)


Personal Development
1. Make a sincere effort to introduce more calm into my life
2. Find a church I like; attend as needed
3. Personal
4. See my work in print under my own name, either in hard copy or online
5. Personal
6. Write a first draft of a novel, no matter how much it sucks
7. Take public transportation as often as possible
8. Write a letter to someone
9. Sew something

Household
10. Find an apartment I truly like
11. Cook one new thing each week; record in the cooking blog I set up and have hardly used
12. Cook one good thing from each cookbook, or throw it away
13. Make sushi
14. Give the FlyLady method a serious effort for at least one month
15. Do not leave dishes sitting in the sink overnight
16. Have a completely clean house on the 1st of every month
17. Personal
18. Have a completely clean car on the 1st of every month
19. Get my car washed every other month
20. Buy my produce at a farmers' market as often as possible
21. Buy local whenever possible
22. Plant an herb garden
23. Go antiquing
24. Make Christmas cookies
25. Put up and decorate a Christmas tree

Career/Education
26. Find a new job or make peace with the one I've got
27. Get organized at work and stay that way
28. Re-join WIN
29. Go to bed by 11 p.m. on work nights
30. Be on time to work every day
31. Take six classes and get As in at least four
32. Have all class assignments done two days before the due date
33. Do all reading for every class

Culture
34. Try a new restaurant (January)
35. Try a new restaurant (February)
36. Try a new restaurant (March)
37. Try a new restaurant (April)
38. Try a new restaurant (May)
39. Try a new restaurant (June)
40. Try a new restaurant (July)
41. Try a new restaurant (August)
42. Try a new restaurant (September)
43. Try a new restaurant (October)
44. Try a new restaurant (November)
45. Try a new restaurant (December)
46. Get my Netflix queue below 200
47. Go to a play
48. Go to an event at the Kennedy Center
49. Attend a formal gala
50. Go to an art museum
51. Attend a classical music concert
52. Join the Young Benefactors of the Smithsonian
53. Take a duck tour

Financial
54. Pay off all of my credit cards
55. Stick to a strict budget
56. Record all money spent
57. Roll my Fidelity plan over into the new IRA
58. Have my taxes done by March 1
59. Deposit my tax refund directly into my IRA
60. Have $400 in my vacation fund by the end of the year
61. Withdraw money for the week on Mondays; do not use debit card
62. Personal
63. Continue to make regular payments on my student loans despite the deferral
64. Personal
65. Personal
66. Do not use my credit cards at all, except for automatic payments that must be paid off every month
67. Make three charitable donations this year
68. Personal
69. Personal

Reading
70. Read four short stories per week.
71. Read a book on the beach
72. Read the entire Bible
73. January/February Classic: Pride and Prejudice
74. March/April Classic: Vanity Fair
75. May/June Classic: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
76. July/August Classic: Dubliners
77. September/October Classic: Frankenstein
78. November/December Classic: Don Quixote
79. Read the ALA's 2007 Notable Books
80. Read all of the Persephone books I own
81. Buy four more Persephone books

Health/Fitness
82. Get dental insurance
83. Handle my most pressing dental issues
84. Take my lunch at least 4 days a week
85. Limit eating out to once per week
86. Go to the gym at least once a week
87. Kayak three times this summer
88. Buy a bike
89. Personal
90. Wear a size 8
91. Ski at least once
92. Play tennis three times

Personal Care
93. Learn how to apply makeup
94. Wear a bikini
95. Personal
96. Find "my" perfume
97. Develop a skincare regimen that I stick to religiously
98. Get a haircut at least every three months
99. Get professionally fitted for a bra
100. Personal
101. Get a massage
102. Get a facial

Travel
103. Go away for the weekend by myself
104. Spend a weekend at the beach
105. Visit two states I've never been to before
106. Go camping
107. Visit Rochester twice

Things I have encountered this week that I would like to share.

Sex, lies and videotape
This is one of the many movies from the 80s that I've never seen, along with Gremlins, Say Anything and the entire Molly Ringwald oeuvre. To be honest, I don't know why I put it on my Netflix queue at all, and once I received it, it sat unwatched on top of my TV for a month. Then, when I finally did watch it, I spent the first ¾ of the film distracted. But once it was over, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was extremely erotic, and above all thought-provoking. And I realized with this movie that I have found James Spader incredibly sexy in everything I've seen him in except Boston Legal. But I never noticed before. Weird, huh?

Stephanie Plum
I am obsessed with Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books. I read the last ones first, starting with #10 about two years ago, and I read 11 and 12 shortly thereafter. But it's only recently that I went back and started reading them from the beginning, and I can't put them down. I've been averaging one a day for a week, and this is in the midst of work and finals. I finished #7 last night, and now I'm worried that I'm going to run out of books within the next few days. There are very few books that make me literally laugh out loud, but these books do it every time. (People in McDonalds were staring the other day, because I was sitting at a table all by myself giggling hysterically.) And come on, have there ever been two sexier men than Joe Morelli and Ranger? I almost envy Stephanie her dilemma as she bounces back and forth between the reformed bad boy and the unapologetically unreformed. It makes me remember what that bad boy phase most women go through is about. Awesome quote:

"Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing." -- Ranger

The Melting Pot
I had my very first Melting Pot experience last night. I'm not generally one for delayed gratification, so the "cooking" phase was difficult for me, but at the end of the meal, I was relaxed and comfortably full, not stuffed like I often am after going to restaurants. I haven't had fondue in ages, and the food was wonderful, the service was excellent, and the atmosphere was gorgeous. Things that force me to slow down are usually good for me.

Digger
This was my absolute favorite computer game when I was a kid—back when I was still good at computer games because they hadn't gotten all fancy. I found it online awhile ago and downloaded it. It's very simple—you're in a mine, you're a little backhoe type of thing, and you're collecting emeralds while not getting zapped by little ugly monster thingies. You don't use a joystick or a mouse—just the arrow keys and F1. It's easy and mindless and I can't stop playing it now.

Writer's block

I'm self-consicous about a lot of things, but my writing isn't one of them. I've been writing for as long as I could hold a pencil, and I'm damn good at it. But I'll tell you what--when writer's block hits, there's nothing on this earth that can dislodge it.

I had to write a quote for a press release today (just the quote; someone else was writing the release) and I swear to God it took me close to an hour to write exactly 71 words. And don't get me started on the award nomination I just (sort of) finished. The first one turned out very well. The second is crap, and that means I'm going to have to rewrite it tomorrow.

I love to write. I hate to write when I have to write.